Anxiety in relationships and dating affiliate dating systems
Lydia swears she never got anxious about flying before dating me, but if that’s true, and it is my fault, that means she’s picking up on my fear of flying well before I ever feel it.In any given trip’s preparatory stages (making reservations, packing, getting a cab, even going through security), I am the calm one, and she is the nervous wreck. Just when she’s ready to relax, I need the most moral support.This sort of thing happens to me a lot; I have anxiety.And, for better and for worse, my girlfriend does not. It kept me off planes and at home, and I disappointed myself, but I got through it alone, unwatched.“When [my anxiety] is really at its height, I call it an isolation chamber,” says Petersen.“The worry and the visions of catastrophe and the unending monologue of doom can really block out the experience of being with another person, and that I find incredibly heartbreaking, honestly.” As an anxious single person, I found my anxiety directed mostly toward my own health, spending ages self-diagnosing myself with unlikely conditions on Web MD.Because anxiety, like any feeling, is contagious, people who are ordinarily non-anxious may “catch” it from their anxious partners, and (understandably) might not be thrilled about it.“For a couple people in my life, my anxiety was too uncomfortable for them to deal with,” says Petersen.
“It’s not a problem to be solved, but more of a problem to be managed in terms of a partnership with both people.” In earlier anxious episodes, Lydia often suggested I take a Xanax, which I’ve been prescribed for flying and other acute episodes.I always interpreted it as a cop-out, a way of saying she could not and did not want to deal with me.I knew it wasn’t rational to defend my anxiety’s right to exist as a legitimate part of my personality, and I didn’t to feel that way either. It took ages for her to understand that I don’t always want a solution, just as it took ages for me to accept that sometimes, actually, taking Xanax really is the best thing to do.It isn’t abnormal or even unfair for the non-anxious partner to feel sad or disappointed about the effect their partner’s anxiety has on the relationship, says Craig Travis, director of behavioral sciences at Ohio Health.The key is remembering that disappointment over someone’s anxiety — or the desire to change it — won’t solve it, and may, in fact, exacerbate it.
“In one person’s case, I think he was very afraid of his own world becoming sort of as constrained and small as sometimes mine felt.” Anxiety can create a vicious cycle in which symptoms are passed back and forth indefinitely, with the non-anxious partner feeling frustrated by their newfound anxiety, and the anxious partner feeling guilty for sharing it.